What was your first gay experience

Sometimes, we would push the victim into the locker room. Turn off the lights. Did that transform my life? Growing up I noticed that I had an attraction for men and women. I was 17 and hanging out with two friends when another mate suggested we meet him at Station des Artistes, a gay bar in my home city of Pau, in the southwest of France.

So I decided, mainly out of curiosity, that it was time to try it out. We had our own bro code. Close the door. The bar became a cocoon, a haven from which I never wanted to emerge. Six months on, Mateo and Chris host Sunday brunches for other late-bloomers—bottomless mimosas, vinyl spinning, a living testament that second acts can outshine first drafts.

Only when I turned out 17, I first entered a gay club in Zaporizhzhia, Ukraine. Born and nurtured in the sombre confines of Warsaw, where my very essence was condemned, the shift to a world so unshackled felt like a dream woven in colours too vivid for my eyes.

But most people there were in their thirties and forties, and seemed fairly comfortable. To find out what the experience means to people across Europe, we spoke to queer people from different countries and asked them to describe what their first visit to a gay club was like.

First Time Gay Stories

How did your first gay experience happen? He realized the sidewalk hand-hold mattered more than any legal decree: it was the precise moment he stepped into his first time gay identity. I accepted the fact that I am bisexual at a very early age.

The vibe there quickly grew on me, though — and pretty soon my group of friends really clicked with another group. I went from coming in and feeling like I was doing something wrong, to having a great night with new friends. Often, your local gay bar or club is the only public place you can party or cruise as a queer person without the fear of being judged or threatened for simply being yourself.

It was as if I had stumbled upon an oasis of belonging, a place where, for the first time, I was unafraid to be seen. We would make the guy kneel. Now, with the passage of time, the allure of gay bars has faded. Someone timed 3 minutes.

Almost as soon as I walked in, I felt intimidated and embarrassed — almost guilty. I guess that night feels so special, even now, because of how quickly and radically my outlook changed. This is the story of my first time and, as many first times on anything, it didn't´t go well because of my inexperience.

The kinship, the shared identity, it was all I had yearned for, a refuge where my true self could breathe. The urge to linger, to nestle into the embrace of that bar where every gaze mirrored my own, was irresistible. One of them left with my best friend, and they ended up going out for three years.

We would all pull down our pants.

Real Stories of Self

Many say they knew they were gay their whole lives, not my case. I have been with maanny women though. NOW I am a 17 year old guy and have not yet had my first gay experience. This means I had only 2 ways to get close to a guy: let others abuse me or abuse someone else myself.

Oh man… it was a total shocker.